thoughts about and plates and communities...

This is totally random, but I have had lots on my mind lately, if you can't tell already by the title of this post. Feel free to skip this if you aren't interested in a glimpse into my head.

With so much energy and thought going into being a mother to my son, a wife to my husband, a homemaker, and a potential adoptive mother... my mind has been gone lately. Just when I feel like the paperwork is coming to an end, and I have it under control, I am forced to start seriously considering our budget, buying a bigger car, building food storage... etc etc, all the while keeping up on paying the bills, grocery shopping, doing the laundry, cleaning my house, magnifying my calling, reading my scriptures, writing my brother on a mission, making dinner. I feel like I'm trying to keep all these plates spinning, lest I drop one that is important and it shatters. (like my metaphor?) The problem is that all the plates are important. Because I am trying to prioritize, the very most precious things are at the top of my list, and other important things are left to the wayside. This is turn has made me feel like a lame daughter, sister, friend, and business partner. I'm sorry family and friends if I don't return or answer your calls in a timely fashion, if our conversations are dominated by me, and if I totally forget to do what I told you I would do. I'm pretty sure plenty of people are busier than me, and manage to do more than I do. I think life is all a balancing act. Especially when you are a mother. I'm not complaining at all. And I want you to know that I'm working on it. The amazing thing is that I'm not that stressed. I'm pretty happy right now. Pretty dang happy.

And the plates keep on spinning...


On a different note...

In my high school Sign Language class, my teacher was deaf, and she used to talk a lot about "the deaf community". I'm not a dumb girl, and I knew that by "community" she did not mean a geographical location, but I never really understood what it meant. This is funny to me now... Little did I know that later I would become a part of several communities. When I started spending hours and hours on the computer searching for answers about getting pregnant, I found myself in the middle of a group of women all around the country battling the same challenges. It made me feel less alone, and validated, and like I wasn't crazy. It was like a club of infertile women. Within that large group, there were smaller groups, like the "we-who-have-endometriosis" community, or the "we-who-have-PCOS" community... to name a few of many of which I belonged. This was before my blogging days, but I used online message boards to communicate with complete strangers about the state of my ovaries and uterus! It was comforting to talk to women who knew. Women who had been through the phase I was in and were coming out the other side, or women with trials far worse than mine, in turn making me feel lucky. In any way, it was a blessing. Now, I've realized, there is an adoptive community. I'm just entering it, talking to women who have been through this part, and have been through the other side of this tunnel. It is amazing the outpouring of support and love you can feel from strangers. In my experience, most people I have met that have gone through this (infertility and/or adoption) have been very open. (unless you are Jennifer Lopez, ha ha) they are not ashamed or embarrassed about their struggles. They are very willing to share, all in the hopes that they can help someone else.
I am so appreciative. And I hope someday to somehow reciprocate the favors and generosity I have been shown by others.