Just before...

Talk about bad luck. 3 days before my C-Section, I was driving home in American Fork around 8:30 pm, in my van, thankfully alone, when I was hit. It's the worst accident I have ever been in and really scared me. It was a 3 car pile up, someone clearly paying no attention hit the car behind me and he in turn hit me while I was sitting at a red light. Thankfully I was fine, and I was lucky. The guy in the middle got the worst of it, car crushed on both ends and he was badly injured and taken to the hospital right away. Every cop and firefighter and passerby that saw me and my huge tummy was sort of at a loss for words - like they expected my water to break any second or something, but I felt fine, no whip lash, my stomach miraculously didn't hit the steering wheel, and I could feel the baby moving around like normal. I felt confident that I was OK so I didn't go to the hospital, and my car was driveable, so after all the police reports were done, I could go home. My first thought during the accident (you know how time sort of stands still during things like this) all I could think was "thank goodness my kids are not in the car with me." I'm almost NEVER alone, so this was lucky. My whole back end is crushed and glass went everywhere, they would have been so traumatized, let alone that they could have easily been cut with all the flying shards of glass. When I got home and told John more of the details of the crash, he said how lucky I was that there was a car in between me and the guy who caused the accident. I know that sounds awful, but for sure me and the baby would have not been in good shape had we been in that vehicles spot and not mine. So I feel lucky, but also super annoyed that the timing couldn't have been worse. I had literally just latched the infant seat in my car, along with my other 2 seats (which all had to be replaced) along with my nice stroller that was covered inglass (also being replaced). The police and paramedics asked me a few times how far along I was and I would say "I'm having my baby on monday." So we had to be car-less for a few days until we could get a rental and have the van towed from our garage. This all had to happen while I was going to be in the hospital, such a pain.

Sunday afternoon my mom came to town. We took her for a drive around the Alpine Loop, though sadly the week before it was much prettier. We got her all settled to stay with us for the next 10 days, and did all the last minute preparations for our 6:15am check in time at American Fork Hospital. One of the last things I planned to do to prepare and excite the kids, was have them open gifts I got them from their new baby sister. In real life it was cute and exciting, but between John and my mom taking pictures and me video taping them, we still got some pretty crappy coverage of the event. Maybe the blurry photos tell a story though... they were pretty excited. In their gift boxes, they each got a little stuffed puppy, some suckers and smarties, a pack of markers, a note pad to color on, and a disposable camera. They got to bring their cameras, treats, and markers and note pads with them in the morning when they came to visit us and meet the baby at the hospital. They were really excited. So excited apparently, that Boston couldn't go to sleep. My mom was on a late phone call, and John and I were downstairs, only to come upstairs and find Boston wandering around with his goodies from his gift. I got in the bath and left it up to John to put him to bed. Apparently John didn't know that, so when John came up to our room and I got out of the bath, John lifted our comforter that was on the floor and found that something was in it, or under it. It was Boston, curled up in a ball, holding half his gifts, fast asleep. We died laughing that he fell asleep while he was clearly trying to hide there. Then I asked John to go collect the rest of his gifts from his room so we could take it to the hospital with us, so that it wasn't forgotten in the morning when John's mom brought the kids down. We cracked up when we found all the contents of his gift box laid out all over his floor, along with one of my cameras. On that camera... were pictures he took of his things. He is so funny, he loves taking pictures. I knew the cameras I got for them for the next day would be a hit.

a legit family

So, we got our family/maternity pictures back, and I'm so happy with them! Jen Herem is totally my new favorite! I'm 4 days away now from my scheduled C-Section. 4 days. What.the.hell? My friend did my hair today and we were talking about how for some reason, having your 3rd kid suddenly makes you a legit family. Not sure why that is, maybe it's the whole -we are about to be out numbered thing, but 3 feels huge. Hi, I'm a 26 year old wife and mother of 3. I'm also remembering how surreal this feeling is - impending birth. But let me tell you, it's like at least 11x more surreal when you still can't really believe you got pregnant in the first place. Somehow I still have no idea how we got here, so really believing I'll have a new daughter in a few days is beyond weird. Weird, I tell you. That is like the understatement of the century.

As far as a name goes for her - we have added 2 new possibilities to the list. It was probably a mistake. I feel like we are getting further away from it. We ask the kids what her name is and they have come up with a few interesting ones. The latest: Sizzler. Thanks Boss, we will have to consider that one.

In other news - somewhat baby related... is how crazily I have nested this time. About 2 weeks ago I somehow guilted John into starting like 4 fairly large projects around our house. Don't ask me why. They are mostly done now, and I'm glad we did them, but during them I sure started second guessing myself for thinking this was a good idea. We prepared the baby's nursery, moved Boston and Naomi's things into what used to be the guest room, bought a huge bunk bed, painted that huge bunkbed, moved the guest room and office into what used to be Boston's room, decided to paint a wall of stripes in the kids new joint room, (finally) bought window treatments for the remaining naked windows we had, and the biggest project of all... hung, caluked, and painted board and batten in the entryway, dining room, and down thehallway. Holy moly. Why John didn't kill me halfway through that project I'll neverknow,because it was way more labor intensive and time consuming than we thought it wouldbe. But it looks gorgeous. I'm super obsessed with it. It's my new favorite thing about my house. We (I) also got a little more ambitious about decorating a little bit. I have hung a few things and got a few rugs to make the entry, formal living room and formal dining room feel much more complete. I'm pretty happy with them, and am glad to have those rooms (for the most part) checked off my list. Next up: the rest of the house and yard. Ya, it's going to be probably a never ending process.

(Wall stripes, bunk bed painting and board and batten in-progress)

Don't ask me why I took pictures of this process, but I did. I took all my baby girl clothes and spent about a week sorting, cleaning, soaking, prepping and folding them. They must not have seemed too dirty when I packed them away just 2 years ago, but they sure did when I got them out. I was able to make most of it look brand new, but the things I couldn't I got rid of.

As far as "after" pictures go, I'll have to take some of the board and batten project, I love it. John did such a great job...

For now... it's time to have a baby.

A List

Some things worth mentioning (in my opinion):

• I'm beyond ready for Fall weather. Why can't I remember when that happens in Utah? I thought it would be here by now...
• I'm super anxious to hear the results of this news story. I seriously hope that right now Josh Powell is secretly thinking to himself "oh *&^%"
• I'm on a country music kick. Country Music and talk radio. So is John. This is why we love each other.
• Naomi and Boston like to say hi to strangers. The other day Naomi was yelling "HIIII!!!" at construction workers on our street from our open window. John said "Stop it Naomi, you're embarrassing yourself." I almost (might have) peed my pants laughing.
• I finally figured out that buying toilet bowl brushes for every single bathroom in this house makes WAY more sense that carrying one around. Why didn't anyone tell me this sooner!
• I'm nesting and it's making me crazy. I want every nook and cranny organized and decorated... which is so not happening in the next 3.5 weeks. Someone get me some valium or something.
• The other day Boston finally felt some really hard kicks from the baby. He giggled and laughed like he does so rarely when he is being really silly. It was one of the highlights of my life as a mom.
• Tonight in the car Boston kept telling John how much he "liked" me because I was "so nice", and Naomi said I was "gorgeous". I might have teared up a little.
• I feel like it might be time, or almost time, to pack a hospital bag - just in case. Why can't I remember what to bring. Someone remind me! What did you take with you last time you had a baby?
• Speaking of advice, any of you had C-Sections before? This will be my first (and last!) and I'm a little nervous what to expect as far as recovery goes. Am I going to be miserable?
• I'm kind of pissed this whole Missoni at Target turned out to be such a bust. Apparently mobs of women cleared the shelves immediately and now it's all for sale on eBay for hundreds of dollars. It's like the freaks on Black Friday (no offense if you are one of them). It makes me mad that people can't just shop normal, buy what you want and leave some for other people. Is it that complicated, or are you just that greedy?
• I'm loving the new season of The Rachel Zoe Project. John was in the room the other night while I watched an episode. His commentary was so hilarious that I might make him hang around every week. One thing he pointed out: that Rodger might be borderline gay. Never noticed much in previous seasons, but seriously, this time around it's weird. And apparently you only have to watch one episode to pick up on all Rachel's hilarious terminology. John now likes to say "_____ is everything" and "____ is ba na nas."
• Everyone wants to know if we have a name for this baby girl. The answer is no. We have 2 that we both love and she will probably end up with one of them, but I have to see her face first, then I'm hoping it will come naturally.
• I didn't mention that I got taken off bed rest. Hallelujah. The Dr. said I probably have what he would call and "irritable uterus". The funny thing is that while I hurt and ache more than ever, my contractions have slowed significantly since being back up on my feet. I'll never be pregnant again (mark my words) so it doesn't matter now, but I guess the moral of my pregnancy stories is that I contract between weeks 25-34 but then I deliver fat, healthy full term babies in the end.
• Naomi is obsessed with my tummy right now. She wants to rub it all.the.time and feels the need to expose it in public (hellllllo stretch marks!) I'm hoping this is a good sign to her warming up to the idea of a baby sister. She keeps talking now about holding her, but she cups her hands like she is holding a jelly bean, so this baby might be shockingly large to her when she is born.
• She still occasionally says "I'M the baby" when we refer to the little baby in mom's tummy. But she says it now in a sad/quiet voice instead of a loud/bratty voice, so it's probably important that I think of some ways to make her feel included and a special part of this process. Any tips? And is this a girl thing or a soon-to-be middle child thing? Because I'm not worried about Boston feeling less loved at all....??? Any thoughts?
• I did put together a gift for each kid to open the night before we have the baby. (Thanks for the idea Pinterest!) I got them each a little notepad and markers, some treats, a little stuffed animal, and a disposable camera. I plan to have them open them the night before, call it a gift from the baby, and have them bring their goodies to the hospital the next day. I think they will LOVE taking pictures of her with their own cameras. I can't wait.
• I didn't mean for this post to turn into all pregnancy/baby stuff but it did. Sorry. You kind of can't help it at this stage. You sort of feel like the world should stop turning because you are about to give birth. Pregnancy = narcissism. Don't laugh, it's so true. You do it too.
• Ok, last thing. We took family pictures tonight with this photographer. I'm really excited about her. Obviously I haven't seen the photos yet, but I really liked her, so so far I would recommend her : ) I DID NOT want a real maternity shoot, but I did want photos of my kids at this stage, right before our lives change, and I did want pictures while I was pregnant because I took almost none this whole pregnancy and I'll never be pregnant again, so I wanted some memories. In my mind I planned to do it sooner, so I feel much fatter and puffier than I envisioned, but I think I'll be glad we did them. I hope I am at least. She will also be photographing our birth (nothing gory, but she is coming to the hospital) and taking newborn photos of the baby with the family at our home a few days later. I hope she doesn't get sick of my family. John is teasing me that she should just move in and start taking pictures of our daily life. Funny John, very funny.
• This was kind of the thing I had in mind for our family/maternity shoot tonight, can't wait to show you all how ours turned out. : )

• Did you notice, I mentioned 3 different times in this post that this is my last pregnancy. It was accidental, but it's true. There is no way I'm doing this again. It's been awesome, but I'm pretty sure I think adoption is awesome-er.

Bedarrested

I'm 33+ weeks pregnant now, and the Dr. put me on lockdown for at least one more week. Remember when Boston gave us a little run for our money too? Apparently my body doesn't like to be this pregnant, and the way I see it - it puts me in the early stages of labor for about 1.5 months, instead of a few hours like normal people. So I contract regularly - and take crappy drugs to keep them at bay - and lay in my room like a hermit. Sometimes I move to the glider sitting by my windows so I can see the real world outside. It looks hot out there. The sad part about all this is, I would be willing to bet some money that I make it all the way to my C-Section date. She's not really going anywhere, she is just trying to scare us a little.

So, we have had a lot of help for the last 5 days, and will have lots of help from a new nanny for the next 5. I'm hoping/praying/crossing my fingers that the Dr. will ease up at my 34 week appt, but odds are probably not in my favor. If you want to know the truth, it doesn't suck that bad to lay in bed all day. I shop online, BLOG, make design boards for my house, watch movies and eat in bed. What sucks is not being able to take care of my kids. They don't understand what's happening so I'm sure they think I'm a lazy bum that doesn't get out of bed - like ever. They say (after I remind them that they can't climb on me or I can't lift them up to me) "The baby makin' you sick?" I just say "yes, the baby makes mom sick". They probably hate her.

So I'm sure no one else cares, but for my own sake, I'll document a little bit of how I'm feeling. If for no other reason but to hang it over my daughters head someday. I have had WAY more back pain this pregnancy. We flipped our mattress a few weeks ago to sleep on the non-pillow top side. It's not meant to be flipped, but our mattress was so soft I couldn't get out of it or roll over - literally. John is a trooper for sleeping on what now feels like a board. I have intense heartburn and shortness of breath this time. I swear on absolutely everything that I sleep with 6 or 7 pillows. 4 behind me to prop me up. One tucked under my back, one between my knees, and one to hold on to and support my belly. I'm extremely high matinence. Also, while my stomach is about the size it was when I delivered Boston at 39 weeks, I have gained significantly less weight this time. I'm assuming it might be because at this point with Boss I had been on bed rest for 4 weeks already. Eating and laying all day doesn't do as much for your figure as you might think. I'll probably start gaining a lot more now. A very weird thing that has been going on for about a week or so now, is my ridiculously heightened sense of smell. I never had this last time. I smell absolutely everything. My kids both have very distinct smells of playing outside and sweating. When they came home from my in laws the other day, they both smelled like they had been bathed in my father in laws cologne. John couldn't smell it at all. John walked in the room the other day and I immediately smelled blood. Smelled it. Like a freaking vampire. He had cut his finger while pulling weeds outside. It was so strong I felt like I could almost taste it. Am I grossing anyone else out? It's so weird. I'm a bloodhound slash vampire. I half expect to see people sparkling in the sun. Oh, and another weird smell I experience a million times a day - is the smell of my vents every time the AC kicks on upstairs. It's bizarre.

One good thing that has come from bed rest, is that it's a 24/7 reminder that I'm about to have my third child. As much as I have wanted this pregnancy to be over for the last month or so, I have not felt super excited about having a newborn. Boston and Naomi are so independent (relatively speaking) and we are in a new phase of parenthood. It's hard in it's own way, but I have more freedom with a 2.5 and 3.5 year old than I have had since having kids. It's been a little tough for me to wrap my head around the round the clock feedings, 10 diaper changes, 4 daily loads of laundry, frequent well-baby visits, diaper bag packing, burp cloth carrying, infant seat hauling life of a mother of a newborn. BUT, before you go thinking I'm heartless and selfish, I have known that I would probably feel that way until the second she is born and then it will go away - and I'll be content again with a tiny one. Except that, to my surprise, bed rest has given me more time to just focus on her. She is the only one I can take care of right now. She is the reason I'm laying in bed. She is the reason I'm following Dr.'s orders even if they are overly cautious. She is the reason, and I do it because I already love her. When I broke down a few days ago and cried to my mom about how hard it is to not mother my children, she reminded me that I was being a mother. I am mothering her by focusing on getting her here safely and soundly and good and chubby. It probably sounds silly, but I have been searching hard for a new photographer to take pictures for us when she is born. I have probably spent hours and hours looking at portfolios to find someone who had the style I was looking for, at a price I could swallow. FINALLY, last night I found her. I booked her right away, and honestly, looking at pictures on her site of other young families like mine, with new baby girls, made me incredibly excited for her arrival (in approximately 5.5 weeks, no sooner!). To nuzzle her, and have that out of body experience of giving birth, and seeing John hold her for the first time. Oh I can hardly wait. I think I'll melt the second my kids see her. Naomi with a little sister - I can't tell you how happy it makes me.

So, little baby girl. You might be making me suffer just a little right now, but I'm not mad at you. I'll be over the moon to meet you. But, I might put you in time out in a few years. It seems only fair.

Blogging

I'm not sure what killed my blogging mojo, but somehow it seems like it didn't just happen to me. Did life get busier? (sort of) Did I stop feeling like things were worth blogging about? (no!) Did I get sick of the typical mommy blog "thisismyperfectlifeinbeautifulphotos" (probably). Then, the last few times I have tried to get back into it, I find my own posts so beyond boring that I can hardly stand to even look at them! Didn't I used to be at least a little funny/clever when I wrote about my life or my kids?? What's happening to me??

Yesterday I got sentenced to strict bed rest for the weekend, so I have been blog hopping like the good old days, and come to find out - EVERYONE (almost) quit their blogs. Unless they turned their blog into some kind of business - 95% of the blogs I used to read are as outdated and lame as mine is. What is up with that?

So, the bottom line is that I would like to blog again. As totally and completely cliche as it sounds, I don't journal or scrapbook so this is sort of all I have, and I think my kids are cute and funny and my life is worth remembering. My sister says if I start making blog books then I will be more motivated. And maybe if I stop caring that my posts are the funniest, my pictures definitely aren't the most professional, and who cares that I don't blog about the things that stress me out or make me sad - cuz this is my blog and I don't write it for you, I will write it for me, and John and our kids. So here's to hoping I'm back, back for good, whether you read it or not.

In the blog-free meantime, I have definitely spent less time online than I used to, but when I am on my lap top, this is what I have been doing/reading/looking at/enjoying.

Facebook. So sad, but true. I debate weekly at least about deleting it. I get sick of unfriending annoying people who's status updates drive me crazy, and ignoring friend requests from either total strangers or people from the past who should stay there. BUT, the bright side to facebook is that it's a fun way to communicate with my current friends. We plan girls nights and play dates and share good finds and fun pictures. And I like to tease my husband on facebook. It's like flirting online (legally and lawfully since we are happily married to each other : )

Pintrest. Oh my goodness this is the best thing online by far. I never tried flickr or tumblr which I think might be similar sites, but for some reason I joined Pintrest and I'm never looking back. It inspires me to decorate my house, make crafts with my kids, plan cute/cheap parties for their birthdays. It makes me laugh daily with the hilarious quotes I find. It is making me (finally) really excited for a newborn with the beautiful photography and precious nurseries. Seriously, if you don't join Pintrest today, you are missing out.

KSL. com. Ok, so if you don't live in Utah and maybe even if you do, this isn't that exciting. But I have been back on a KSL classifieds selling/buying/trading binge. We sold our Honda Civic, shopped for an Oddessey, sold one of our cribs, sold our old kitchen island and bar stools, traded one of my old strollers for a new (amazing) bassinet for the baby.(see below!) Next up for sale, a dresser, a bed and lovsacs. KSL is awesome. It's like money in my pocket.

Online shopping. Ok, so you can't really call it shopping as much as "bookmarking". I have a Favorites Tab on my browser titled "New House-Furniture/Decor". I quote unquote "shop" at places like Overtsock, Amazon, West Elm, Urban Outfitters, Urban Home, Ballard Designs, CSN Stores etc etc. I find things I want, and bookmark them for later purchase (I hope). When you build a new house on 1/2 acre, your husband tends to spend all your money on the yard - so the inside will have to wait. I'm ok with that. I have made a few purchases. I got an amazing deal on a rug for the kitchen table from Pottery Barn, bar stools for the kitchen island I love (and John doesn't) from Amazon, and matching nighstands (finally!) from TJ Maxx/Home Goods. It's about time John stop using a freaking file cabinet as a bedside table.

GiggleDeals. So I just found this recently, but I love Giggle stores. I just spent like an hour in the Walnut Creek one a week ago. This is their version of a daily deal site, and it's awesome. I have my eye on a red wagon for the kids to save for Christmas. It's a great deal, I just have to decide if I can really keep it hidden until then. Knowing me, it would arrive and I would be to excited to give it to them and end up opening the box. Help me. It's hard not to spoil your kids.

Etsy. Not like this is anything new, but being pregnant makes Etsy all the more fun. Remember how Naomi being a girl was a bigfat surprise? Her whole wardrobe was supplied by my mom in one big suitcase that she brought the day we brought Naomi home from the hospital. It was amazing and awesome, but sadly only the newborn size clothes with work for this new baby girl. They are being born at opposite ends of the winter season, so I have been on the hunt for warm, practical, but cute baby girl clothes. There is also a bunch of things we didn't have for Naomi - like many swaddling blankets (she was not a big fan) or just cute girl blankets (we bought just 2 that we loved and were gifted a few, but lets be honest, lots that were given to us were NOT ones I would have picked myself), and hair accessories. First of all, Naomi needed none, she was born with a gorgeous full head of black curly hair. The tiny bows you attach with syrup didn't work in her hair at all, and back then they didn't make the dainty tiny headbands that are all the rage now. I have never been a fan of the huge bows, so besides a few cute ones we found, Naomi was usually headband-less. So I'm looking to buy a bunch like this in various sizes. I also really want a car seat canopy this time too. I used a Bundle Me with Boss and Naomi and I love it, but I like the idea of hiding my baby (especially considering she will be born the end of fall/beginning of winter. I like this one.

So, what else.... I find that most of the blogs I used to read daily (design blogs, photography blogs, lifestyle blogs which will remain nameless) are getting boring now and I have some new favorites in rotation now. So maybe while on bed rest for the next few days, I'll update this little blog of mine, new header, new links, new posts - the works. That way, if you aren't already sick of my "pins" overtaking your boards, you can be sick of my updates showing up in your google reader. And maybe I'll update my facebook status a few times, you know, just for good social-networking measure.

Growing a Baby

It's tough work.

My first trimester was no fun. I took fewer pictures in those 3 months than in any single month since I have had kids. By a LOT. And I'm in none of them. One day I looked in the mirror and thought "I should photograph this" because I had truly never looked worse, and it was comical. I was wearing the same shirt, hoodie and sweats I worn for weeks straight, had like 3 days unwashed hair, total hormonal acne like a teenage boy, mascara below my eyes - or maybe just really dark circles since I'm pretty sure I never wore make-up, and no bra. It was ridiculous. I would have posted it here, but I couldn't find my camera in my cave/bedroom and didn't have the energy to look long. So, use your imagination. It was awesome.

I slowly started emerging from that dark abyss just a few weeks ago. Now the slightest tinge of nausea makes me want to sleep for a week just to avoid what it might bring. In fact, many times during this phase (and sometimes even still) I think sleeping through the remainder of this pregnancy sounds like an appealing alternative to having to experience it, but there is some light at the end of the tunnel now. I feel the baby move, John can feel it too, at night when he/she is really active, we get to hopefully find out the gender soon, which is exciting, and I'm this close to the halfway mark, which feels great!

So now it's my sciatic nerve that is my worst symptom, and it can make me want to scream the f-word occasionally, but I guess I'll take that over what I was dealing with. The upsides are so great though. This stage of the baby kicking is fun, later it can be painful, but these little swift-kicks are sweet and feel so miraculous, and I wouldn't trade them for the whole world. I've decided that pregnancy is a lot like motherhood in general, the majority of the time it's just plain hard and can be miserable, but then there are these small, fleeting moments that are so great that it's more than worth it. Is that pessimistic of me? Probably, but I'm a realist and I'm not going to pretend that being a stay at home mom and being pregnant feel like heaven all the time. They don't. This ain't for sissies.

As far as the big ultrasound goes, I'm just hoping for a healthy baby - really and truly it doesn't matter to us if it's a boy or girl. We are both predicting girl, mostly because this pregnancy is so different from Boston's and also because that is what both my kids think it is. And they might know, right? We had an ultrasound a few weeks ago at 16 weeks to see if we could tell and the Dr. first said 70% for sure a girl, then said 70% for sure a boy. So, we will see if this baby will really reveal itself next time.

Does this post sound like I'm complaining? I don't mean to. As hard as I feel like it is, I still feel - more than anything else - really blessed. It's hard to explain unless you have experienced something similar, but I felt in some way like I "earned" the right to be a mom to my other kids. Like going through infertility and IVF gave me the right to be Boston's mom, and the roller coaster and trials of adoption earned me the right to be Naomi's mom, but this baby feels free. I'm sure that sounds weird, but sometimes we ask for blessings and they are granted to us just for asking, and sometimes we ask for things that our Heavenly Father might want to give us, but He makes us wait for them, or work harder for them than we would like. This baby is a blessing that has so far come without any asking or conditions. It was just given. For weeks after we found out we were pregnant, it was all I could feel about it, that it was a free blessing, one I didn't earn or deserve, or even dare ask for. It makes me feel loved, and trusted, and like He is so aware of me and my family and the things I want and need. I am writing about it here only because I hope no one ever reads or hears my whining about sciatica etc. and thinks I have forgotten where and how this baby came to us, and because I want to remember this sweet feeling. Lot's of people when they found out about this pregnancy, said things like "wow, what a money saver" or "lucky you, you finally get a free one" all in terms of money because everyone knows IVF and private adoption doesn't come cheap, and I would just smile and say "yep" because the money means nothing in comparison to the kind of "free" I'm talking about.

Boston's Field Trip

Boston's Preschool took a field trip to the North Salt Lake Fire Station. I left Naomi with my mother in law so Boston and I could have some fun with his class. I thought he would love it. Things didn't go quite as planned... I dry heaved the whole 30 min drive there, Boston fell asleep which meant when we arrived and I had to wake him up - he was a monster, he whined/cried wanted to be held and carried the whole time, I fought puking the whole time, and then did end up throwing up twice on the way home. In a taco bell bag. While driving on the freeway. It was like, the best day ever. But you might not know it by these pictures! See how tricky blogs can be? I could have just posted these pictures with cute captions with lots of exclamation points, telling you how much fun we had. But that wouldn't be real at all...

We don't look half bad considering... right? The only telling photo is the group shot with Boston's class. Don't you love it when your kid is the only one crying in a photo. I feel like it happens to me a lot.

A Cure

This pregnancy has been so far absolutely nothing like my first. I never once experienced nausea or morning sickness last time, and really only had extreme fatigue. This time, I'm sick sick sick and totally sick of it. I should (knock-on-wood) be nearing the end of this awful phase, but in the meantime, I have discovered the best cure for me (besides Subway, a Zofran, and a 4 hour nap of course). Online shopping! Having 2 really young kids, one of each gender, you would be right to assume we don't need anything, but I remember packing up my baby stuff just a few short months ago and making mental notes of the things that would definitely need replacing or sprucing up. Here are a few things I'm planning on...

Just bought this stroller. I'm really excited about it. You know I'm a stroller hoarder, so don't die of shock but I have sold all my others to justify buying this one. It will be my last and final stroller. I did a lot of research, and I think it fits all my needs, and means now I can just own one instead of 3. It should get here tomorrow and I plan to overdose on Zofran so we can take a trip to the mall and test it out!

We have WAY WAY too many baby blankets, but I love blankets and always wished my kids would get attached to one. Boss never did and Naomi is just barely into "blankies" which seems a little too late so I'm not giving in to it, but these are to die for in every way. I want this print for sure. I think they are pretty gender neutral, don't you? Besides, we are pretty sure we know what we are having anyway... we will find out for sure at the end of the month.

I also came across the best blog post the other day. Read it here. I wish my baby stuff wasn't in storage so I could just try it out now and see if her strategy really works. Do you have any great tips? Aren't stained, but still new-ish and darling, baby clothes the worst?

So that's really not that much, right? I'm sure he/she will get a few new little layettes, but I'm hoping all my newborn size winter stuff will work just fine.

Oh, the only other purchase we plan to make before this one arrives in October, is one of these babies. That's right, don't be jealous. I can't believe I have gotten John on board to buy me a mini-van but he got there somehow, and I couldn't be happier. Plus, with gas being like 4/gallon, a big SUV does not sound so appealing to me. We have looked at a few and are pretty sold on the Odyssey, but won't buy one until August or September probably. It's going to be the best day ever.

Look, I'm feeling better already. I told you, it's a cure. Doctors should prescribe it.

I have a good excuse at least.

I know it's April 1st, but this aint no April fools people. I am pregnant. It feels a little redundant posting this here seeing as how most of our friends already know this thanks to John being bad at keeping secrets, and then our earlier-than-planned announcement on facebook about a week ago.

So I'm 3 months along, and we couldn't be happier about it. I'm sure a lot of you have lots of questions - so let's just share some info and FAQ's.

1. No, we DID NOT do In Vitro Fertilization or IUI or any fertility treatment whatsoever. This was an all natural happy-accident.
2. Yes, we WERE completely shocked. Those words really don't do it justice, and to be honest, I still haven't wrapped my head around howinthefreakingworld this happened.
3. Our Dr. is also shocked. Maybe even more than us. He has been so great and given me 3 ultrasounds so far just to prove to me this is really happening. Every time I feel like I'm literally having an out-of-body experience. That just can't be my body on that screen, with a baby in it, that we didn't surgically implant in there : ) But it is...
4. We were told by our fertility Dr. that we had less than a 2% chance of ever conceiving on our own. IVF was always supposed to be our only option.
5. We aren't one of those couples who mysteriously can't get pregnant, we have a list of reasons for our infertility. If you are one of my friends who told me after we adopted that I would "just get pregnant now, I have a friend who adopted a baby after years of infertility and then she just got pregnant!" I probably hated you for saying that. It's ok, don't worry, I most likely forgave you for it, but I KNEW that would never be us. Our Dr.'s knew that would never be us. We never expected it to change. There is no explanation as to how/why it did, but here we are.
6. Lastly, YES we are a little tiny bit scared about our kids all being so young (ok, mostly just I am scared) and yes it was unexpected so the timing is not what we technically would have chosen (I did NOT want to be pregnant when we are moving...) but honestly, we couldn't be happier or more excited.

Does that cover most of it? To further explain how completely caught off guard we were, I didn't even take a pregnancy test until I was 9 weeks "late". Most people pay attention to that kind of thing, but we have never needed to. I was moody and stressed and had been sick with colds and pink eye for a month before I realized how late I was. I honestly thought I was just super stressed about house hunting and building. I STILL waited a week to say anything to John, and then we waited ANOTHER week before buying a test. I knew the night John went to buy one that it was the dumbest waste of $15 ever, and of course I wasn't pregnant. So I told him to buy the cheapest one, knowing it would be negative anyway, but then it wasn't. And we freaked the hell out. If you notice in the picture there are 3 tests, and one is negative. That is because I didn't believe I was seeing 2 lines on the first test, so I made John pee on the second one in the box, to see what a definitely negative one looked like. My poor husband. I still didn't believe it, so I sent him straight back to the drugstore at 10pm to buy a REAL digital test that would spell out the word "pregnant" so I would believe it. I took it and 2 seconds later that is what showed up on the screen. Pregnant. We were literally in our little basement bedroom screaming and laughing and probably being so weird. I still can't believe that night really happened. Seriously. The next morning was monday and I called my Dr. at 7am to demand he see me that day. That ultrasound revealed I was actually only 6 weeks along instead of 9 like I technically should have been, but the baby was definitely there, and had a heartbeat, and while I laid on the table having another completely surreal out-of-body experience, I could hear my sweet Dr. using words and phrases like "tender mercy" and "divine intervention" and "miracle". Other than feeling awful with morning sickness and fatigue, I feel like we have been floating the last month and a half. I don't know how else to describe it. We feel so lucky, but we know luck really has nothing to do with it.

I know probably nobody is reading this now, except maybe my mom, but I had to write this, because I never want to forget this feeling. I never really want this pregnancy to feel "normal". I want this baby to know someday how happy and thrilled we are that it joined our family this unexpected way.

Be prepared for lots more post about this pregnancy. It will be my last, so I plan to document it pretty well. I was too busy enjoying my pregnancy with Boston to write about it or take many pictures. I'm glad that I did it that way, but this time I'll journal a little better.

So, there it is. My good excuse for being a bad blogger.

Cheers to our soon to be family of 5, and to mini-van shopping!