Bedarrested

I'm 33+ weeks pregnant now, and the Dr. put me on lockdown for at least one more week. Remember when Boston gave us a little run for our money too? Apparently my body doesn't like to be this pregnant, and the way I see it - it puts me in the early stages of labor for about 1.5 months, instead of a few hours like normal people. So I contract regularly - and take crappy drugs to keep them at bay - and lay in my room like a hermit. Sometimes I move to the glider sitting by my windows so I can see the real world outside. It looks hot out there. The sad part about all this is, I would be willing to bet some money that I make it all the way to my C-Section date. She's not really going anywhere, she is just trying to scare us a little.

So, we have had a lot of help for the last 5 days, and will have lots of help from a new nanny for the next 5. I'm hoping/praying/crossing my fingers that the Dr. will ease up at my 34 week appt, but odds are probably not in my favor. If you want to know the truth, it doesn't suck that bad to lay in bed all day. I shop online, BLOG, make design boards for my house, watch movies and eat in bed. What sucks is not being able to take care of my kids. They don't understand what's happening so I'm sure they think I'm a lazy bum that doesn't get out of bed - like ever. They say (after I remind them that they can't climb on me or I can't lift them up to me) "The baby makin' you sick?" I just say "yes, the baby makes mom sick". They probably hate her.

So I'm sure no one else cares, but for my own sake, I'll document a little bit of how I'm feeling. If for no other reason but to hang it over my daughters head someday. I have had WAY more back pain this pregnancy. We flipped our mattress a few weeks ago to sleep on the non-pillow top side. It's not meant to be flipped, but our mattress was so soft I couldn't get out of it or roll over - literally. John is a trooper for sleeping on what now feels like a board. I have intense heartburn and shortness of breath this time. I swear on absolutely everything that I sleep with 6 or 7 pillows. 4 behind me to prop me up. One tucked under my back, one between my knees, and one to hold on to and support my belly. I'm extremely high matinence. Also, while my stomach is about the size it was when I delivered Boston at 39 weeks, I have gained significantly less weight this time. I'm assuming it might be because at this point with Boss I had been on bed rest for 4 weeks already. Eating and laying all day doesn't do as much for your figure as you might think. I'll probably start gaining a lot more now. A very weird thing that has been going on for about a week or so now, is my ridiculously heightened sense of smell. I never had this last time. I smell absolutely everything. My kids both have very distinct smells of playing outside and sweating. When they came home from my in laws the other day, they both smelled like they had been bathed in my father in laws cologne. John couldn't smell it at all. John walked in the room the other day and I immediately smelled blood. Smelled it. Like a freaking vampire. He had cut his finger while pulling weeds outside. It was so strong I felt like I could almost taste it. Am I grossing anyone else out? It's so weird. I'm a bloodhound slash vampire. I half expect to see people sparkling in the sun. Oh, and another weird smell I experience a million times a day - is the smell of my vents every time the AC kicks on upstairs. It's bizarre.

One good thing that has come from bed rest, is that it's a 24/7 reminder that I'm about to have my third child. As much as I have wanted this pregnancy to be over for the last month or so, I have not felt super excited about having a newborn. Boston and Naomi are so independent (relatively speaking) and we are in a new phase of parenthood. It's hard in it's own way, but I have more freedom with a 2.5 and 3.5 year old than I have had since having kids. It's been a little tough for me to wrap my head around the round the clock feedings, 10 diaper changes, 4 daily loads of laundry, frequent well-baby visits, diaper bag packing, burp cloth carrying, infant seat hauling life of a mother of a newborn. BUT, before you go thinking I'm heartless and selfish, I have known that I would probably feel that way until the second she is born and then it will go away - and I'll be content again with a tiny one. Except that, to my surprise, bed rest has given me more time to just focus on her. She is the only one I can take care of right now. She is the reason I'm laying in bed. She is the reason I'm following Dr.'s orders even if they are overly cautious. She is the reason, and I do it because I already love her. When I broke down a few days ago and cried to my mom about how hard it is to not mother my children, she reminded me that I was being a mother. I am mothering her by focusing on getting her here safely and soundly and good and chubby. It probably sounds silly, but I have been searching hard for a new photographer to take pictures for us when she is born. I have probably spent hours and hours looking at portfolios to find someone who had the style I was looking for, at a price I could swallow. FINALLY, last night I found her. I booked her right away, and honestly, looking at pictures on her site of other young families like mine, with new baby girls, made me incredibly excited for her arrival (in approximately 5.5 weeks, no sooner!). To nuzzle her, and have that out of body experience of giving birth, and seeing John hold her for the first time. Oh I can hardly wait. I think I'll melt the second my kids see her. Naomi with a little sister - I can't tell you how happy it makes me.

So, little baby girl. You might be making me suffer just a little right now, but I'm not mad at you. I'll be over the moon to meet you. But, I might put you in time out in a few years. It seems only fair.