Rowen's story in words.

The night before, I didn't make it to bed until midnight. How are you supposed to sleep when you know you are having a baby in mere hours?? I woke up for a trip to the restroom (thinking about how glad I was that THAT side effect of pregnancy was about to end!). When I got back in bed I tried to think about anything but my delivery in the hopes that I could fall back asleep, but it was in vain. I laid there for the next 2 hours agonizing over all the details of the day I hoped to go perfectly, and then I cried thinking about how amazing my other kids birth days were, and then I said maybe the longest prayer of my life. By the time my alarm went off at 5am, I was feeling pretty calm - but crampy - and was really excited to make the 3 minute trek down the street to AF Hospital. We were scheduled to check in at 6:15 am.

By the time we were in the elevator going up to the Labor and Delivery floor, my contractions were really uncomfortable, but I didn't think much of them. I had been having them for the last 2 months after all. I got checked in, Jen Herem was already there waiting for us, and my nurses started getting me prepped. It was taking longer than I thought, and as the minutes passed my contractions got stronger. After a while, the nurses decided to start monitoring them. They had a heart monitor on the baby, but because I was having a C-Section they weren't paying much attention to my contractions until it seemed they were coming hard and fast. Once on the monitor, we realized they were just 4 minutes apart, then 3, then 2, and I was having a hard time getting through them. The baby's heart rate dropped and they hurried and got me on my side, hoping to bring it back up. The nurse said she wanted to check me since she was sure I was in active labor. I was a 4. I was a 1 just 2 days before at my last appt. This is around when I think I sort of lost my mind a little, the pain was so bad it almost felt like I was having an out of body experience. Who gives birth naturally?? The nurses called my Dr. and his P.A. who were both already on their way, but told them that they better hurry. Dr. Jones said we could start as soon as he arrived and to get my spinal and go ahead and get me in the O.R. before he got there. Before I knew it, I was walking to the O.R. and getting the spinal from the blessed Nurse Anesthetist. By the time I laid down, I could already feel the numbness settling in. John and Dr. Jones came in then, and literally 4 minutes later I heard my baby cry.

Now do you really want to hear the details of what a C-section is like? I'm not sure I want to remember! But just in case... here is how it went. The difference between the spinal and an epidural, is that it makes you numb to everything but pressure. So while I couldn't feel any pain, I did feel touching and pressure. It was really weird. It freaked me out, and I was freezing and shaking and those 4 minutes literally felt like a lifetime until they were over. I can recall like an hours worth of thoughts I had during those 4 minutes... they went so slow and miserable. I told myself over and over during that part that this was the last time, the last time the last time I would EVER do this. It helped a little. The worst part is after all the incisions are made, his P.A. basically put all her body weight on my chest to "pop" the baby out. It sounds awful, I know. Sorry. But trust, it was 10x more awful to experience. I yelled out as loud as I could. It was a weird sound that didn't sound like it came from my mouth, but it did. I hated it. But seconds later she was crying and so was I and in that very instant I knew it was more than worth it.

I sent John over to see her, the really nice Anesthetist stayed right by me and told me everything they were doing to me and the baby to make me feel more involved since I couldn't see anything. He walked me through it all. After she was weighed (7 lbs 15 oz) John came over to show me some of the pictures of her. I sent him back immediately for more. My nurses told me before hand that the baby nurses would probably show her to me and then whisk her away to the nursery while they closed my incision, but thankfully, they brought her over to me, held her to my cheek, helped me hold her in my own arms despite the awkward position I was laying in, and even took some pictures of the 3 of us. They were so sweet and I was so thankful. They let me hold her and kiss her until they were about done closing me up. Then John followed them to the nursery.

I was taken from the O.R. to recover for about an hour before they would send me downstairs to the Mother Baby floor. I sat there anxiously with my mom counting down the minutes until I could be reunited with John and our baby girl. John came upstairs a few minutes before it was time and showed me more pictures and video. I was so anxious to get her in my arms. Meanwhile, Jen was at the nursery taking more beautiful pictures of her. Finally, it was time and oh how sweet that reunion is! It's such an amazing feeling holding them outside your body for the first time. I couldn't get over all her hair. I just melted for her, and no matter how many kids I have, this experience will never get old, or any less special. We had called John's mom who was at our house with Boston and Naomi, and told her to come down with them. It wasn't long before they did, and we were so excited to introduce the kids to their new sister they had talked so much about the last few months. They came in with their cameras ready, and were pretty into her. Naomi especially. We expected the opposite just because of their ages, but apparently Boston's interest was short lived and he was ready to go ride bikes at home after not too long. Naomi however, wanted to sit on my bed with me, and she oooohed and ahhhhed over all her little baby features. She would say things like "look at her tiny tiny tiny toes!" It was sweet. Having my now family of 5 together for a little while felt amazing.

The 2 grandma's were so helpful that day and things went exactly how I wanted them to. I think when you are about to have an experience like childbirth (no matter the method) you feel very little if any control over what is about to happen to you. It's a scary feeling, and in that spirit, and in an effort to feel some control, I had some specific and probably rather anal requests about how minor details of that day were to go. I wanted John by me during the C-Section, with the baby after she was born, my mom in the recovery room with me so I wasn't alone, John in the nursery with the baby until she could be brought to me, and most importantly I wanted no one to hold her (besides John and Dr.'s and nurses obviously) until I could hold her. I wanted John's mom at our house with our kids until I was out of surgery. I wanted some time alone with her before they showed up. I didn't want any pressure of family being somewhere in the hospital getting antsy to get their hands on the baby before I could just hold her and enjoy her and not feel pressed for time. It literally all went the way I wanted, and I was so thankful. Thankful that everyone respected my wishes, thankful that we had that much help and support from both our moms, and so thankful that I got that time with my new daughter that I had been waiting for for so long.

The kids hung out with us, taking pictures and drawing pictures for the baby (who was still nameless). After a while John's mom went home and my mom took the kids back to the house. John and I got to spend plenty of time alone with her, which was nice. We had a hard time coming up with a name. We had a list of 4, and were struggling to narrow it down. She was so sleepy and we kept wanting her to wake up so we could get a better look at her face to see if one name would finally stand out. She basically never woke up those first 24 hours, other than to eat, so she remained nameless. Finally, 48 hours after she was born, on the morning we were going home, we settled on Rowen Faye. Once we decided, it seemed perfect and I couldn't really believe we ever considered any other name.

I still can't believe how amazing my C-Section was. Seriously, get one. I loved it. Ok, so that is a stretch obviously, and it's all relative, but I felt 10x better AT LEAST than after delivering Boston. I was up walking around 24 hours after, could get myself to the restroom, even pushed Rowen around the halls in her little bassinet. It was slow going and painful of course, but doable! After I had Boston, I was hooked up to IV's and a catheter until the day I left! And I could barely walk. It is dorky I know, but I was so proud of myself and felt like I was so tough that I could do those things so soon after. I'm not a girl who deals particularly well with pain. So the fact that I felt like I was recovering so well and dealing, made me so happy and relieved! I was hell bent on going home at the 48 hour mark, and I made it. It was a rough morning after getting sick from eating a greasy breakfast - and throwing up after having your stomach cut open doesn't feel nice, but I made it home anyway, and it was heaven to sleep in my own bed with no nurses coming in to check my blood pressure and temperature etc. Although, I must say, I sort of love staying at the hospital. I wanted to come home asap because of our insurance coverage at this hospital, but really I would stay a week if they would let me. I love all of it. A remote controlled bed, people waiting on you hand and foot, room service. It's the life, I'm telling you. I ate my body weight in saltines and shortbread cookies, and drank probably 3 times my body weight in cranberry juice and chicken broth. They even had pebble ice! It's not so awesome for John, he sort of hates it - and I would to if I had to sleep on a crappy cot and eat in the cafeteria, but I would have happily stayed.

So we came home with Rowen Faye. And life has never been the same since. I told Dr. Jones (who encouraged me to get a C-Section since it was supposedly my last pregnancy) that it was all so amazing that I might, juuuust might, want to do it all one.more.time. Any ideas on how to convince John?