Ok, so my blog venting worked. I'm officially over the depression that set in yesterday. After feeling very sorry for myself and rationalizing my over reaction in my head over and over, I realized that I was being stupid. If he comes on Jan 28th, healthy and happy (and hopefully not over 8 lbs) then I will be thrilled. So, forgive my crazy rant from yesterday and think of me as a happy pregnant woman once again. If anything I should be thankful. My fear my whole pregnancy has been that it will fly by too fast. I should be appreciating every minute of it.
I thought of a good new years resolution the other day, and then, dead serious, I forgot it. I'm still trying hard to remember what it was, but I haven't been able to. Today, my new years resolution just came to me. Its not the same one I forgot, but it might be better. I want to live in each moment. I want to stop planning and worrying about things I can and cannot control, and just be. I thought of this when I was picturing labor and delivery. I was thinking it will be like one of those out of body experiences where you are watching yourself as if it isn't happening to you. I don't want it to be. I want to experience it as it IS happening to me. I've been so worried that he will grow too fast and not be a baby for long enough. I don't want to be. I want to just accept the changes that happen everyday, and love them and appreciate them. So this is my resolution for the year, and for life hopefully.
So this month I will stop trying to plan his arrival, and worrying about when it will happen. I'm just going to live everyday, loving that I'm carrying him and that for the next couple weeks he is all mine. I heard Maria Shriver say once that the 9 months of pregnancy are really the only time in your child's life that they are "yours." The minute they are born, they are separated from you and spend everyday after that learning how to be independent of you. For now, he is all mine. He is part of me. I plan to enjoy it. Even if there is 24 more days of it.
6 comments:
Michele, you're an inspiration to us all! I'm glad that you are a happy pregnant women again (totally a bummer though). Anyway, just got the invite and I am so bummed that I can't come. I wish I could but we already have plans. Love you though, hope the shower is all you ever wished it would be!
I'm proud of you Michele for your new attitude and philospohy on life. That is a great New Years Resoloution - you'll have to teach me how to do that - that's something I'm sure I never role modeled for you:) Enjoy!
You're entitled to vent, you've earned it.....if men got pregnant we would lay down and scream at our wives to bring us stuff for the entire nine months, and the world population would dwindle to zero cause there's no way in hell we'd do it twice.
Hey, you stole part of my new years resolution...not worrying anymore about things I cannot control. I think all of us Hunt girls do that...who did we get it from? Hmmmm....
Sheli!!! I'm so excited for your new journey in life! John and you are going to be amazing parents. Make sure you teach your son to be a great babysitter, because I am sure he will be able to watch my kids. Love you and your future little boy!
You are amazing! I hope these next couple weeks go by so fast and that you ENJOY everday! Can't wait to meet your little boy
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